@VANEK.CZ

– A One Act Play by J.B. Alexander –

*Inspired by the character Ferdindand Vanek created by Vaclav Havel

 

CAST OF CHARACTERS

Vanek Novak: —— A 29-year old male Czech actor, playwright, and director.

Angela Jackson —— A 47-year old African-American female professor of theater studies at a prestigious American University.

 

 

Music fade in of Plastic People of the Universe. Song plays for 60 or 90 seconds, then fades out.

Lights fade in.

A professor’s office in an Ivy League-type university drama department. There is a wooden desk with a desktop computer, oriental carpet, and stocked bookshelves. There is a plant on one of the bookcases. The walls are adorned with posters of past university productions, as well as a poster commemorating Vaclav Havel’s 2006 residency at Columbia University.

Czech theater artist and playwright Vanek Novak, age 29, enters the office. He carries briefcase or valise; he is wearing a coat and scarf over typical academic type attire (e.g. a corduroy jacket with shoulder patches, and slacks). He looks around the office, puts down his luggage and places the briefcase on the desk. He takes off his coat and scarf, hangs them up on a hanger or over a chair, and looks around the office. He pauses at the poster of Vaclav Havel and gazes at it for one minute. Then he sits down at the desk and begins unpacking papers, books, and plays from his briefcase.

After one minute there is a knock on the door.

VANEK
Dobry den. I mean, yes? Hello?

the door opens and Angela Jackson’s voice is heard from offstage

ANGELA
Hello? Mr. Novak?

VANEK
Yes. Yes, come in. Please.

Angela enters; crosses the stage to Vanek’s desk and shakes his hand.

ANGELA
Hi. Welcome. I’m Angela Jackson, professor of theater studies. We emailed a few weeks back.

VANEK
Yes, yes, of course. 

ANGELA
It’s nice to finally meet you in person.

VANEK
Yes, likewise. It’s nice to be here. Finally.

ANGELA
We’re very excited to have you.

VANEK

smiling
I’m excited to be here.

ANGELA
So are we. We’ve heard a lot of good things about you.

VANEK
Some of it true, I hope.

ANGELA

laughs
All of it, I’m sure.

pause
You’ve made quite a reputation for yourself in the Prague theater scene.

VANEK

waving his hand
Please-

ANGELA
We’re impressed.

VANEK
Well, it’s a great honor for me as well.

ANGELA
I’m glad to hear it…. Did you have any trouble finding the campus?

VANEK
No, your directions were very precise. And with Google maps it’s hard to get lost. Thank you so much, Professor Jackson.

ANGELA
Please, call me Angela.

VANEK
Thank you so much, Angela. And please, call me Vanek.

ANGELA
You’re welcome, Vanek…. So, as the organizer of the program, I’ll be coordinating your residency.

VANEK
Wonderful.

ANGELA
If you have any questions — any questions at all — you can email or text me. You have my number, right?

VANEK
Yes, I think so.

ANGELA
It’s in the emails.

VANEK
Great.

ANGELA
Also, I have office hours Monday through Thursday from 3-5pm.

VANEK
Perfect.

ANGELA
So you can just drop in without an appointment.

VANEK
Great. Thanks.

ANGELA
And I use the she/her pronoun.

VANEK
The what?

ANGELA
The she/her pronoun.

he looks confused
Pronouns take the place of nouns…. You must have them in Czech?

VANEK
Yes, of course we do. We have pronouns. I mean, of course we do.

ANGELA
So I use the she/her pronoun.

he still looks confused.
So, for example, instead of saying “Professor Jackson is meeting with me,” you could say “She is meeting with me.” Or instead of “I am speaking with Professor Jackson” you could say “I am speaking with her.”

VANEK

still confused but trying to be agreeable
Ah, ok…. She is speaking with me. I am speaking with her…. Very good….

ANGELA
Great.

VANEK
So the office hours are every afternoon?

ANGELA
Yes. Except Fridays.

VANEK
I’m sorry, what else would I say?

ANGELA
Excuse me?

VANEK
What else could I say besides “she/her”?

ANGELA
You could use a different pronoun. He/him, they/them, ze/zer.

VANEK
Ze/zer?

ANGELA
It’s for non-binary people. Some non-binary people prefer ze/zer.

VANEK
Ze/zer.

ANGELA
Right, but for me: she/her.

VANEK
She/her.

ANGELA
Because I’m a woman. I mean, I identify as female.

VANEK
Ok. She/her. “I got it” as you say.

ANGELA
Terrific. Oh, and this Thursday, I won’t have office hours because it’s Thanksgiving.

VANEK
I’m sorry, but isn’t it obvious?

ANGELA
Isn’t what obvious?

VANEK
Well, that you use the she/her pronoun. I mean, you’re a woman. I mean, a female, woman-person.

ANGELA
Yes, I am. But transgender and non-binary people specify what pronoun they prefer.

VANEK

embarrassed and apologetic
Oh, are you transgender? I didn’t realize.

ANGELA
No. No I’m not.

VANEK
Oh.

pause

ANGELA
So…. How was the flight from Prague?

VANEK
Fine. No complaints. Stopover in Dublin.

ANGELA
Oh, nice. Dublin’s a great town.

VANEK
Yes. Great beer. Great people. Great beer-drinking people.

ANGELA
You must have felt right at home.

VANEK
Yes. The Irish are a lot like the Czechs; in that regard, at least.

ANGELA
Yes.

pause
So do you want to talk now a bit about the logistics of the residency, or do you need some time to get settled?

VANEK
Um, no, no. Now would be fine.

ANGELA
Great.

VANEK
Please, have a seat.

they both sit

ANGELA
So, as you know, our department has an annual residency fellowship for up-and-coming theater artists.

VANEK
Yes.

ANGELA
And this year, we thought it would be very fitting to invite a Czech theater artist, to celebrate the 30th anniversary of the Velvet Revolution.

VANEK
Yes. Probably the only revolution in history which was led by a playwright.

ANGELA
I know! Talk about a plot twist…. You know, Vaclav Havel was a hero of mine.

VANEK
Really?

ANGELA
Yes, ever since my teenage years. In fact, I’m actually part Czech myself.

VANEK
Really?

ANGELA
Yes…. What, I don’t look Czech?

VANEK
It’s just-

ANGELA
My grandfather was a soldier in World War II. He served under General Patton, and was part of the force that liberated western Czechoslovakia.

VANEK
Wow.

ANGELA
He met my grandmother in Pilsen. It was love at first sight. They were actually married by a rabbi.

VANEK
A rabbi?

ANGELA
He was the only military chaplain who would perform the ceremony.

VANEK
Why?

ANGELA
Back then, they didn’t approve of interracial marriage. It was even illegal in many states until the 1960s.

VANEK
Oh, right. I’d heard that…. They must have had a really hard time of it, back then.

ANGELA
Yes. Yes, they did. They certainly did….

VANEK
Do you speak any Czech?

ANGELA
No, just a few words. And the song “Ach! Synku Synku.”

VANEK
“Ach! Synku Synku.” Really?

ANGELA
You know it?

VANEK
Of course. Every Czech knows that song.

he begins to sing and Angela joins in

ANGELA & VANEK 
Ach, synku, synku, doma li jsi? Tatíček se ptá, oral li jsi?
Oral jsem, oral, ale málo Kolečko se mi polámalo
Když se ti zlámalo, dej ho spravit Nauč se, synečku, hospodařit!

ANGELA
Oh, that’s nice.

VANEK
Your grandma taught it to you?

ANGELA
She used to sing it to me as a lullaby…. Now, I have a question for you.

VANEK
Yes?

ANGELA

almost playful
Is your name really Vanek?

VANEK
Yes. I’m really Vanek.

ANGELA
Really? I had assumed it was a pen name. You know, like George Eliot, or J.B. Alexander.

VANEK
No, it’s really my name.

ANGELA
Wow. Did your parents name you after Vaclav Havel’s character, Ferdinand Vanek? Or is Vanek like a normal Czech name?

VANEK

smiles
No, it’s not normal. My parents named me after Ferdinand Vanek.

ANGELA
I guess they really loved Havel, too.

VANEK
Yes, they did. They actually met in 1989 at the protests in Wenceslas Square. They also fell in love at first sight…. Supposedly, I was conceived the night of November 22, when Havel first addressed the crowds. My parents were so happy that they–

ANGELA
I got it.

VANEK
Right.

ANGELA
It’s a little surprising that they told you that.

VANEK
Why?

ANGELA
It could be awkward. Telling that to a child.

VANEK
I didn’t mind. In fact, I kind of like it that they told me…. So, yeah, I was conceived that night. Supposedly. And my parents tied the knot six months later.

ANGELA

smiles
So you’re legit.

VANEK
Yes. I am the legitimate child of the Velvet Revolution — not its bastard child.

both laugh

ANGELA
You know, I’m also named for a revolutionary.

VANEK
You are? Who?

ANGELA
Angela Davis.

VANEK

thinks for a second
I don’t think I know her.

ANGELA
She’s a black, radical activist. Ran for Vice-President of the United States… on the Communist Party line. She was in the news a lot when I was born.

VANEK

surprised
A communist?

ANGELA
Yes. You’re surprised?

VANEK
A little.

ANGELA
In this country, the Communists were still revolutionaries.

VANEK
While in mine they were the anti-revolutionaries.

ANGELA
When my grandparents came back to the States after the war, they joined the Communist Party.

Vanek makes an uncomprehending expression
At that time, it was the only party that welcomed blacks as equals. And Russia had been our ally in the fight against Hitler. Communism seemed the best way to fight fascism and racism at home.

VANEK
But couldn’t they see what the communists were doing in Eastern Europe, and elsewhere?

ANGELA
They convinced themselves that all the reports of repression were just “imperialist propaganda”…. I think my grandmother must have realized, on some level at least, but she kept quiet, out of loyalty and love for my grandfather. And the Party was where all their friends were; their support system. The only people who would accept them, really…. Many members quit after Kruschev’s speech in ’56.

VANEK
And in ’68?

ANGELA
That’s when they both left, for good. After the Russian invasion…. My mom says she remembers lots of tears, lots of fights. But ultimately, they left. I mean they left the party, not left the left. So when I came along a few years later, Angela Davis still seemed like a good namesake — and she was…. How is Vanek?

VANEK
Hm?

ANGELA
As a namesake, I mean?

VANEK
Oh he’s good. I mean, I get a lot of brewery jokes. “Hey Vanek, shouldn’t you be rolling beer barrels?” That sort of thing. But otherwise, no complaints.

ANGELA
Well, we could think of no better candidate for the fellowship than Vanek himself.

VANEK
Thanks. It beats rolling beer barrels.

ANGELA
I certainly hope so…. So, as you know, the fellowship has two major components.

VANEK
Yes, um, the lecture and the theater presentation.

ANGELA
Correct. Those are the major components. There will also be classroom work, dinners with faculty, things of that nature.

VANEK
Yes, that should be fine. I’m looking forward to meeting your colleagues.

ANGELA
They’re looking forward to meeting you as well.

VANEK
Then you’ve reviewed my proposals for the lecture and the theater presentation, I take it?

ANGELA

ever so slight pause
Yes, we have….

VANEK
And…

ANGELA
The lecture looks terrific.

VANEK
Thanks.

ANGELA
“Living in Truth in an Age of Fake News.” Love it.

VANEK
Well, it seemed apropos.

ANGELA
Oh, very much so. And I especially liked your point contrasting the changing nature of falsehood with the unchanging nature of truth.

VANEK
Thank you.

ANGELA
And how, in Havel’s time, the purpose of untruth was not so much to persuade as to intimidate.

VANEK
Yes. No one believed in the lies of the communists, least of all themselves.

ANGELA
Right, but belief wasn’t the point.

VANEK
Exactly.

ANGELA
The point of the lie wasn’t to convince you of its truth, but to pressure your acquiescence into a system of falsehood. By getting you to play along in untruth, the state and its organs exercised its power over you.

VANEK

Right. Whereas today the purpose of falsehood is also power, but in a different way. It’s to undermine the notion of objective truth itself.

ANGELA
Leaving only ideology.

VANEK
If even that — more often just a tribal identity, or a cult of personality.

ANGELA
It should be a great lecture.

VANEK
Thanks.

ANGELA
And we expect a good turnout.

VANEK
I hope so.

ANGELA
The biggest crowd in the history of Havel lectures…

VANEK
Really?

ANGELA
That was a joke.

Vanek looks confused
Sean Spicer. Biggest inaugural crowd…

VANEK
Oh, right.

laughs

ANGELA
But there should be a really big turnout.

VANEK
I hope so.

pause

ANGELA
As to the second element-

VANEK

enthusiastically
The theater presentation.

ANGELA
Yes.

VANEK
Producing the entire cycle of Havel’s plays.

ANGELA
Yes.

VANEK
It’s a great opportunity. I’m so eager to get started.

pause

ANGELA
Listen, Vanek, I have to tell you, there’s been some… concern in the department, among our students actually, about… some aspects of this particular project.

VANEK
Concern?

ANGELA
Yes.

VANEK
I see. What kind of… concern?

ANGELA
Well, actually more than concern…. There’s a threat of a boycott. 

VANEK
A boycott? Of the theater presentation?

ANGELA
Yes.

VANEK
Who is calling for a boycott?

ANGELA
SACRED.

VANEK
SACRED?

ANGELA
Students Against Colonial, Racist Educational Discourse. SACRED.

VANEK
I see…. What is their objection to Havel?

ANGELA
Well… Vaclav Havel was a straight, white, cis-gendered, European, male playwright.

VANEK
Yes.

ANGELA
And now that he’s dead, he’s a dead, straight, white, cis-gendered, European, male playwright.

VANEK
Yes. I mean, yes that’s true. Obviously.

ANGELA
And they feel that his work ignores the struggles of historically marginalized identities.

VANEK
Historically marginalized?

ANGELA
Women, LGBT, POC, ETC.

pause

VANEK
I’m not sure I know what to say.

ANGELA
They feel that by showcasing the work of this straight, white, cis-, European male, that we are other-izing and continuing the marginalization of historically oppressed groups.

VANEK
Well, that certainly was not my intention, nor his, either, of course, but I-

ANGELA
And that he was an enemy of socialism.

VANEK
An enemy of socialism?! He-

ANGELA
I know.

pause
Look, Vanek, our department is very supportive of diversity and decolonization of the theater.

VANEK
Well, yes, so am I. But I don’t… Do you see Havel as a colonizer?

ANGELA
No, of course not.

VANEK
We Czechs never colonized anyone. In fact, we were colonized ourselves by the Austrians.

ANGELA
I know. And the Germans. Arguably the Russians, as well.

VANEK
Yes.

sotto voce
Arguably the Americans.

ANGELA
I know all that.

VANEK
And as for race: I mean, it’s true there are no black people in Havel’s plays. But there were hardly any in Czechoslovakia at the time he wrote them so-

ANGELA
Of course. I mean, I understand.

VANEK
So what’s the issue? 

ANGELA
Listen, Vanek, you have to remember that these kids were born in the 90s. They have no memory of Communism, the Cold War, or even Havel himself.

VANEK
OK, but I don’t think–

ANGELA
And this is a very scary time for minorities in this country.

VANEK
I’m aware of that.

ANGELA
There’s an overt racist in the Oval Office; white nationalist terrorism is wreaking violence across the nation and the world; people are afraid. And rightly so.

VANEK
I can appreciate that. And I don’t disagree, but-

ANGELA
And the students see see the university as a refuge from all that. A place where they need to feel safe.

VANEK
But how does Havel threaten their safety?

ANGELA
He doesn’t!… Of course he doesn’t.

VANEK
So-

ANGELA
The only thing he might threaten is their moral complacency, and their simplistic, ideological certainty.

VANEK
Isn’t that a good thing?

ANGELA
Listen, Vanek, I’m on your side ok? I love Vaclav Havel — he’s my hero. That’s why I wanted to have this program in the first place.

VANEK
So-

ANGELA
That’s why I stuck my neck out.

VANEK
I’m sorry?

ANGELA
I stuck my neck out in fighting for your selection as the theater fellow. Because I believe in Havel.

VANEK
So if we’re both on the same page on this, then what’s the problem? I mean, why should we even-

ANGELA
I’m up for tenure this year….

VANEK
Oh.

ANGELA
And if the program doesn’t go smoothly, it could hurt my chances.

VANEK
I see.

ANGELA
And negative student reviews can affect the committee’s decision.

VANEK
Really?

ANGELA
Really.

VANEK
How?

ANGELA
Negative online student reviews are factored into the university’s overall online rating. That can affect admissions numbers, alumni funding, etc. There can be all kinds of negative repercussions. So tenure committees take them into account.

VANEK
I didn’t realize that. So it’s not just the merit of your scholarship that matters?

ANGELA

laughs
Ha! You know you’re still still pretty innocent for 29 years old.

VANEK

embarassed
I-

ANGELA
No. To them, a university is really no different than a business. You know how bad Yelp reviews can kill a restaurant?

VANEK
Of course.

ANGELA
Same deal. That’s also a reason I wanted to give them Havel. To remind them of…

pause

VANEK
So what do you want to do?

ANGELA
Maybe you could… change your presentation, somehow? 

VANEK
Change the presentation?

ANGELA
You know, to address some of their concerns.

VANEK

pause
But how can I do that? I mean, Havel wrote what he wrote. It’s true, his work doesn’t directly address these particular issues but-

ANGELA
They’ve actually presented a petition with their demands.

she reaches into her valise and retrieves a document; and hands it to Vanek

VANEK
I see.

reads

ANGELA
What do you think?

VANEK
Well, the first demand is for non-traditional casting.

ANGELA
Yes.

VANEK
They are demanding that we cast POCs, 

he pronounces it “pocks”
LGBTQs and women, even in parts which weren’t written as such. What’s a pock?

ANGELA
A POC; a person of color.

he’s confused
Anyone other than white.

VANEK
Oh.

thinks for a second
Well, I guess I don’t object to that.

ANGELA
Good.

VANEK
At least, in theory. I mean, of course Havel wrote the characters as Czechs, and mostly men.

ANGELA
True.

VANEK
But the plays have a universal message.

ANGELA
Exactly.

VANEK
And they’re not really about race and identity, as such. So non-traditional casting doesn’t affect the meaning of the play.

ANGELA
Right.

VANEK
At least, most of them.

ANGELA
What?

VANEK
I mean, for example, we can’t make the couple in Unveiling a gay couple.

ANGELA
Because?

VANEK
They have a child. It’s Czechoslovakia in the 1970s. It would have been impossible.

ANGELA
Oh, right. Of course.

VANEK
But, I do think we can evaluate on a case-by-case basis. And where it wouldn’t affect the artistic integrity of the play, then we can cast the best actor, regardless of identity.

ANGELA
That’s fair.

VANEK
So one demand down. Let’s see about the others.

VANEK

again reading the petition
What is a land acknowledgment?

ANGELA
It goes in the program. It’s a statement acknowledging the traditional native inhabitants of the land on which the show is being performed.

VANEK
The Indians, you mean?

ANGELA
Yes.

VANEK
Oh, OK. I like that. I think it’s great. “Yes” to the land acknowledgment.

ANGELA

relieved
Great. Thank you, Vanek. I really appreciate this.

VANEK

reading for a bit; shakes his head
This next one is… well…

ANGELA
Which one?

VANEK

reading from the document
“We demand that all offensive references be excised from the text, and that the plays be reworked and, if necessary, rewritten to reflect the intersectional struggles of marginalized communities.”

pause; they regard each other
“…rewritten to reflect the intersectional struggles of marginalized communities.” They want me to rewrite Vaclav Havel’s plays?

ANGELA
Um, yes.

VANEK
How would I even?-

ANGELA
I think there are examples on the following pages.

VANEK

reads
“For example, we feel that the play The Pig, or Vaclav Havel’s Hunt for a Pig displays an outdated, sapiocentric worldview which privileges the carnivorian narrative, and ignores the grievous harm that consumption of animal flesh inflicts, not only on our animal cousins, but also on the environment, including human-caused climate change.

“As the generation that will be most-impacted by global warming, we believe that presentations of carnivorativity which fail to acknowledge its harmful environmental impact, risk re-enforcing a corporate-dominated speciesist narrative which undermines awareness of environmental peril, and could trigger vegetarian and vegan members of the audience.

he looks at her for a moment in disbelief, then continues

“While, out of cultural deference to the historically pork-loving Czech culture, we do not demand outright cancellation of this production, we do insist that the the previously marginalized species be re-centered, and given a voice. This could take the form of either a monologue in which the pig explains the hunt from his/her/ze/zer point of view, or a stand-alone piece, perhaps under the title “Oink: Vaclav Havel is Hunting Me!” 

pause, as Vanek looks at Angela in disbelief

ANGELA
Well?

VANEK
I’m sorry but… well… are they serious?

ANGELA
I’m afraid so.

VANEK
But this is ridiculous.

ANGELA
Look, Vanek, I know some of their demands are over-the-top.

VANEK
Over-the-top?!-

ANGELA
They mean well. I mean, their hearts are in the right place.

VANEK
Their hearts are in?- Look Angela, as I think I’ve shown… I mean, I’m willing to make some reasonable accommodations.

ANGELA
Can’t you just-

VANEK
And I understand these students come from groups with a rough history in this country. I empathize with that. I do. I really do. But… well… I’m sorry — They’re asking me to rewrite Vaclav Havel’s plays to fit fashionable American notions of political correctness. I don’t-

ANGELA
Don’t you think-

VANEK
They talk about “social justice”?! Has it occurred to them that Havel achieved more, and risked more, for a just society than they ever will?! That maybe they have something to learn from him?

ANGELA
Listen, Vanek. I love Havel. He’s my hero, ok. He has been for most of my life. That’s why I brought you here. Because I want them to love Havel, too. Because he’s got so much to teach them. But, Vanek, you have to be able to reach people where they are…. Look, Havel was a great man, and a great playwright. But he was a creature of his time. He had certain… blind spots — we all do. All they’re asking — all I’m asking — is that you update him a little bit; present him in a form that today’s millenial students can relate to. That they’ll be open to. Otherwise they’ll miss the lesson entirely, and Havel will be lost to them. You do that, and this fellowship can go smoothly, the presentation will be a success, a new generation will grow to love and appreciate Havel.

VANEK
And….

ANGELA
And my tenure will be secure! Are you happy?… Look, Vanek, they’re not asking you to fundamentally change the message of the plays, just to… adapt them, a bit, for the twenty-first century. Make them accessible to a broader, more diverse audience. Can’t you do that?

Vanek looks horrified
Forgive me — I didn’t mean to upset you —

VANEK
Do you mind me thinking out loud?

ANGELA
Not at all.

VANEK

pause as Vanek thinks; he speaks in a measured tone, weighing each word
As far as the objective component of this goes, if I agree to their demands, I can ensure the success of the theater presentation, and my fellowship more generally. There will be no protests; no boycott; no negative publicity. It would also be a gracious gesture, on my part, toward you, who arranged this fellowship and who (as you say) stuck your neck out for me, potentially putting her own career at risk.

Furthermore, if I go along with this, I will undoubtedly receive acclaim from the students: I will be hailed on social media as progressive, woke, morally pure, and right-thinking. They will praise me for my courage in challenging racism and patriarchy, and I will be welcomed as an “ally” in the struggle against oppressive social structures. In addition, the students will become valuable contacts among the next generation of American theater professionals — people who, years down the road, could aid me greatly in my career.

However, if I refuse their demands my fellowship will be imperiled, and I will be unable to transmit Havel’s lessons to the next generation. There will undoubtedly be negative publicity, my productions will be protested and boycotted, and I will likely be “called out” on social media as inflexible, insensitive, or even racist. Furthermore, the brouhaha over this controversy will remain online probably forever, thus sabotaging my reputation, and my chances to work with large numbers of theater professionals.

So those are the objective implications of this matter. And now what about the subjective component of it? If I accede to these demands, I will lose all self-respect. I will publicly perform a solemn act, which privately I believe to be ridiculous. I will feign sympathy where I feel only aversion. And I will betray the legacy of Vaclav Havel, by succumbing to the very type of totalitarian intimidation against which he struggled for so many decades.

By collaborating in these falsehoods, I will cease to live in truth. I will make the first, of what will undoubtedly be many small compromises which, cumulatively, will ultimately deprive me of my ability to speak authentically, as an artist.

So it really comes down to this: if I truly want to behave in a moral way, what should I base my decision on — the objective analysis or the merciless subjective inner emotion?… For my part, it seems to be clear.

ANGELA
So will you?-

VANEK
I really am very grateful for everything you’ve done for me — I appreciate it, because I know better than anybody how rare this attitude is these days. But I just — don’t be angry with me — but regrettably-

ANGELA
Regrettably?

VANEK
Did you think that?

ANGELA
Excuse me, I probably misunderstood you-

VANEK
I am sorry if I-

ANGELA
Not at all-

VANEK
But I really think-

ANGELA
I know-

VANEK
I’m sorry, it’s just-

ANGELA
What?

VANEK
It really is a matter of principle. I just cannot, as a matter of principle, become a part of…

ANGELA
A part of what? Go ahead and say it! You can’t be a part of what?

VANEK
A part of a way of doing things that I don’t agree with.

pause
Are you angry?

ANGELA
Well, there you have it. God, you’ve really shown your true colors, haven’t you? Vanek — as true as his namesake. The noble man of truth! Well, good for you Vanek. Stand up for your principles. Do what’s “right.” Keep your soul pure and lily white; untainted by the sordid compromises that we who have to live in the real world — we who weren’t born into privilege — have to make all the fucking time. 

And leave me holding the bag. Sure, let the black lady face the consequences! The black lady who stuck her neck out for you, by the way. Let her reap the whirlwind of a swarm of raging social justice warriors. Let her lose her job, her livelihood, just so you can preserve your sense of moral purity, just so you don’t have to dip even one toe into the teeming muck in which the rest of us are forced to swim through every day.

You say you’re sacrificing? What? So you piss off a few American millenials. So what? Then you hop on a plane, head back to a hero’s welcome in Czechia where you can brag about how — brave you! — stood up to the bullying of the American imperialists. How you — a poor, innocent Czech — stayed true to Vaclav Havel’s legacy. Hell, maybe you’ll even write a play about it. You can call it Amerika, with a ‘K’ after Kafka.

pause
Do you think I like this? Do you think I’m happy being the ideological enforcer for a bunch of smug millennials who, though they can barely tell the difference between Shakespeare and Spongebob, are “blessed” with the absolutely certainty that the simple solution to centuries of injustice lies in the unquestioning orthodoxy of their ideological platitudes? Do you think I like their “Well, as a black woman you must think this; you must feel that way about this or that?” I mean, I also happen to be an individual who’s capable of thinking for herself!

Sure, I could stand up to them. I could oppose them. But then I’d jeopardize my own standing with them. I’d lose whatever influence I have over them…. Don’t you understand: As long as they perceive me as their ideological comrade-in-arms (which my identity, in their eyes, confirms) I have some influence over them. And I can introduce them to Havel, and Shakespeare, and to the now almost-heretical notion that great art speaks to all people of all identities regardless of whether it was created by a white man, or a black woman, or a Chinese Muslim, or a disabled lesbian, or an indigenous trans-atheist, or whoever. That our common humanity is too rich, is too (excuse me) diverse, to sacrifice to the idol of political correctness.

near tears
God, if you only knew how sick I am of all this shit.

pause

VANEK
I’m… I’m sorry. I just don’t see any other way.

ANGELA

resigned
No, I get it. You are Vanek, after all. What should I have expected?

VANEK
As the legitimate child of the Velvet Revolution, I have a lot to live up to.

ANGELA
Yes, I suppose you do.

pause
So you see Vanek: even across the ocean, even in America, even in 2019, it’s still… 

VANEK
All fucked up.

lights fade to black; just as the first applause begin, Vanek speaks:

VANEK
Wait. Wait. Stop. Turn the lights back on.

lights up

ANGELA
What are you doing?

VANEK
We can’t just leave it like this. 

ANGELA
Why not? That’s how Havel ended Audience.

VANEK
I know. I know.

ANGELA
So?

VANEK
I think we have to keep going.

ANGELA
Keep going?

VANEK
Yes.

ANGELA
Going where?

VANEK
Where?… I don’t know exactly where.

ANGELA
So…

VANEK
But we have to keep going. To try to reach some resolution.

pause

ANGELA
What can we do?

pause

VANEK

gestures to audience
I suppose we could ask them.

ANGELA
Ask them? Ask who?

VANEK

gesturing to the audience
Them. The audience.

ANGELA
No.

VANEK
Why not? It’s a democracy isn’t it?

ANGELA
Is it?

VANEK
They claim it is.

ANGELA
No.

VANEK
Why not?

ANGELA
You can’t break the fourth wall.

VANEK
I just did.

ANGELA
You’re not allowed.

VANEK
I’m not?

ANGELA
No. This is a Vanek play. Havel never broke the fourth wall in the Vanek plays.

VANEK
But this play isn’t by Havel. It’s by J.B. Alexander.

ANGELA
I know that. But you yourself said you wanted to be faithful to Havel. That means: no breaking the fourth wall.

VANEK
True. But you said that, to speak to people today, we need to adapt Havel’s forms.

ANGELA

smiles
It seems we’ve actually been listening to each other.

VANEK

smiles
So I say we ask them.

he turns toward the audience and prepares to address them when Angela cuts him off

ANGELA
Aren’t you overestimating them, perhaps?

VANEK
How so?

ANGELA
You think they have the courage to speak the truth, to live in it?

VANEK
THE Truth?

ANGELA

gives him a “come on, Vanek” look
No, not THE Truth. Just truth, as they see it.

VANEK
You don’t?

ANGELA
I don’t what?

VANEK
Think they have the courage?

ANGELA
I don’t know….

looks out and assesses the audience
Couldn’t you see them squirming in their seats at the beginning? You know, when we did the bit about the pronouns?

If the actress playing Angela had noticed someone who seemed particularly uncomfortable at that moment, she should point him/her out now e.g. “especially that guy; did you see him?” etc.

VANEK
Perhaps you’re right. About them.

pause
Havel once wrote: “the intellectual should constantly disturb; should rebel against all hidden and open pressure and manipulations, should be the chief doubter of systems, of power and its incantations, should be a witness to their mendacity.”

ANGELA
That’s powerful. You memorized that?

VANEK
Yeah…. It’s in the script. I memorized the whole script.

ANGELA
Oh, right.

VANEK
Well, not the whole script. Just my lines.

ANGELA
Right.

VANEK
It goes on. “An intellectual is always condemned to defeat. He is like Sisyphus in that regard. But the intellectual remains, despite all his defeats, undefeated. He is, in fact, victorious through his defeats.”

ANGELA
Another paradox. Like the Power of the Powerless.

VANEK
Yes. Despite all our defeats we must never surrender hope.

ANGELA

smiles
Godot didn’t come again today. But we will wait for him tomorrow.

pause

VANEK
He must have had hope.

ANGELA
Godot?

VANEK
Havel.

ANGELA
Hope?

VANEK
That his plays mattered. That they could change something.

ANGELA
And they did. They helped to free a country. They helped to change the world.

VANEK
Yes, they did.

pause
Or so it seemed….

ANGELA
What do you mean?

VANEK
It looks like Sisyphus’ boulder is rolling downhill, at the moment.

ANGELA
So it’s for us to pick it up then, and start anew.

VANEK
Yes.

gestures to the audience
And for them, too.

ANGELA
For them, too.

they turn and face the audience

ANGELA & VANEK
If they have the courage.

Lights fade to black; fade-in of children’s choir singing Ach, synku, synku.

End of Play

***

---

 

 

J.B. Alexander is an actor and playwright based in the NJ/NYC area. His one-man show The Metamorphosis (about a struggling writer who is transformed into Franz Kafka) was nominated for the Prague Fringe Festival’s Inspiration Award, which honors promising new work.