Monologue Contest Results!

ANNOUNCING THE WINNERS! is pleased to announce the winners of its second annualSummer Monologue Contest.” The contest drew entries from all over the world, and has helped connect a greater network of writers. Participants compiled short, 250 word responses to daily prompts, and their entry fees were added to an ever growing jackpot. The contest was judged by Jeffrey F. Barken and Menachem Kaiser. Submissions were rated based on their use of language to stylize stream of conscious remarks. looks forward to repeating the contest next summer.

The 1st place winner of this round of monologging and a $50 prize is Kelsey McMurtrey. Kelsey’s submission, entitled “Customer Service” offers a humorous tour of the office on a day when little is at stake and passion for the job is fading. To read Kelsey’s monologue please scroll below. Additional monologues by contest runners-up, Luke Hughes and Diana Mumford can be read HERE: 

Photo Courtesy of:

Photo Courtesy of:

Customer Service

-Monologue by Kelsey McMurtrey-


Stacatto thumbprint on the “hold” button.

I move through the cubicles,

twisting, walking, step step step.

“She, uh, wants to know why she hasn’t received her order.”

He turns, nods, continues typing.

“She can’t get a hold of someone to fix it.”

Hits a, then n-d, t-h, and e.

Rubs his eyes with two fingers, asks me

“What was the question?”

I repeat.

He mumbles,

not an answer.

Something about getting coffee.

He smells like an old meatball sub.

“Take it to your team leader,” he tells me.

I turn, twisting through cubicles, walking,




I halt at a desk decorated in sticky notes

and photos of a grandson.

“So, this woman’s order,” I say.

She sits, chewing jelly beans, painting her thumbnail mauve.

“Uh huh. That’s not my department.” she says, “You gotta’ go see Lionel. In autoships.”

I turn.

I twist through the cubicles, sit at my desk.

I pick up my phone receiver and say,

“I sympathize.”